I grapple with my ANGER.
It is an intoxicating elixir, an untamed beast,
an empowering amplifier
- a bullhorn, and sometimes,
an intimate friend that I am embarrassed, in hindsight,
for not sharing more proudly and openly with others.
'Damn it,' I say. 'I should be proud of you, ANGER.'
'You deserve better, you deserve to be known.'
So, as I continue to wrestle with this relationship,
I read this today...
"The angers between women [and all of us, for that matter]
will not kill us if we can articulate them with precision,
if we listen to the content of what is said with at least as much intensity as we defend ourselves against the manner of saying. When we turn from anger we turn from insight, saying we will accept only the designs already known, deadly and safely familiar. I have tried to learn my anger's usefulness to me, as well as its limitations.
...In the male construct of brute force, we were taught that our lives depended upon the good will of patriarchal power. The anger of others was to be avoided at all costs because there was nothing to be learned from it but pain, a judgment that we had been bad girls [or boys], come up lacking, not done what we were supposed to do. And if we accept our powerlessness, then of course any anger can destroy us...
...[but] anger between peers births change, not destruction, and the discomfort and sense of loss it often causes is not fatal, but a sign of growth...
...and my anger is no excuse for not dealing with your blindness, no reason to withdraw from the results of your own actions."
- Audre Lorde,
Keynote presentation at the
National Women's Studies Association Conference,